A blog of sorts...
Not an "official" blog -- this space has been designed for periodic thoughts from the pastor and key leaders. We'll only post one thought at a time and this page will change periodically. We won't keep a history of entries. This is more of a spot for us to pause and reflect on what God might be doing in our midst. If you have a comment of question about something you've read here, feel free to email us at: churchoffice@parkerlane.org. If you'd like you can put "blog of sorts" in the "subject" line of your email so we'll know how to direct your comment.
Peter said to Jesus, "You will never wash my feet..." John 13:8a
It's better to give than to receive. And it's still important to receive.
I know a lot of generous people. Truly wonderfully generous. Folks that would give you the shirt off of their back. And many of these truly generous people are also able to receive gifts. They are practicing true interdependence. They are the kind of people that know that everything is from God and that they have to have their hands open to give and receive. They are living the Gospel out loud.
I am not one of these people.
I am fairly good at giving. I rarely get attached to material things, I pray hard before I spend money and I give a lot of money away. I'm fairly good at giving time and attention away. And I think that I am a fairly miserable "receiver." This occurred to me today when I was reading Rowan Williams book, Tokens of Trust. I ran across this quote:
"God has made us and given us liberty to reflect [God's] life, yet we use our minds and our freedom to protect ourselves rather than to pass on the life we have received...we're not where we could and should be...living by one another's generosity...Fearlessness in giving has to find its place at the heart of things."
I read these few sentences and all the sudden it occurred to me that, sometimes, giving is easier than receiving. Sometimes it's easy to let go of things and harder to trust that someone might give to you. And true interdependence -- the community living I think God calls us to -- is only possible if we can be both extraordinarily generous and extraordinarily gracious in receiving. Interdependence means that there has to be reliability on both sides of the generosity equation by all people.
When I had the moment where it came into clear focus that I'm not very good at receiving I called my friend, to say, "I think I'm bad at receiving." Her immediate response was, "Why do you think that?" And I asked her if she was looking for the data to back up my claim or if she was asking me to speculate on the reason that I'm bad at receiving. She said she agreed that it was not one of my strong suits and that she was inquiring about where I thought my deficiency came from. I love my friends because they agree to go on these little journeys into deeper faithfulness with me.
I think that God has been inviting me into a space were I could receive for a couple of years. I am grateful for the invitations, and am even starting to be grateful that I am becoming aware of my deficiency in this area (one among many deficiencies). Perhaps one of my problems in receiving is that I'm trying to avoid being a victim or avoid being perceived as a strain on the system. Maybe part of the issue is that I don't trust others enough to actually receive from them.
I'm not sure about the cause. And I am sure about the call. I am hearing the call to get better at it. I am so grateful that God continuously calls us to the next right place. And I am so grateful for the fellow travelers God sends our way so that we don't have to face these daunting invitations alone.
